Godly sorrow

2 Corinthians 7:11 "See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done..."

I went upstairs to discipline Wyatt for getting out of bed today. We sat down and I told him what he did wrong and asked him what happens when he disobeys Daddy. "Get a spankin'" he replies. So I disciplined him, gave him a big hug and remembered at that moment something Mitch had said about when disciplining is done, it is done. Hugs and kisses and happiness because things have been righted. So I did that, put him back to bed and went downstairs.

I told Amber that we should do this after every time he is disciplined. See, it happens so much, particularly with bedtimes, that I spank him and hug him afterwards, but with the attitude of expectancy of him disobeying promptly when I leave. So I leave the room with this "I'll be back..." sort of exit.

Then the revelation alit: When I sin, I hold it over my head - therefore, I hold it over my sons head.

Oh Jesus, how I have lived in unbelief of the gospel and therefore misrepresented the gospel to my son. How dishonoring to the Lord and Who He is? This revelation is still heavy on me and I am sorrowful in my heart both that I have flavored the soup in this bitter salt.

May this godly sorrow work in me what the verse says. The alarm that this revelation has brought about how I have misrepresented the Gospel, May I be diligent to make sure this attitude is dealt with and a readiness to make things right. The diligence to make sure my soul doesn't run to this Iron Maiden of repentance.

Thank you God. I am sorrowful about this. Would you restore the years of my destruction? Would you teach me to rejoice in the grace of Christ, rather than wallow in the mire? Come and revive me, not for me, but for Your Name. Teach me a new way.