Out damned spot

Jesus, my natural man is enticed by its desires and lusts. The smell of flesh, the feral rush of endorphins with spotted prey, the unchained imagination prowling... one is inclined to agree with Freud. What holds a man back? He denies one dog its meat to feed the other, under the guise of propriety. Damn the civil wickedness. May it not be said of this man that his own hand stayed the pulsing demand of his desires; only to feed the animal in the secret dark what was denied in the open day. May this man be mastered by a Spirit. May they not stay. God, forbid they stay.

on the line

The problem being a leader is the people behind you are the first to see when you mess your shorts. I came to realize today that I have failed in my stewardship of the dteam. I have not given clear direction to them as to what we are doing here, what are our norms, and just keeping us in a tighter community. Thisis indicative of my own heart, firstly. Recently I have been complacent and settled in lesser joys. Neglecting my salvation and handling my time poorly. Today I lay in bed really doubting if anyone's life is really changed by the hoy spirit. Its been a tough year. I think I spend most of my time trying to salvage wreckage from my self. Amidst the flotsam I try to stay afloat on any debris with my image on it. I end of swimming harder to keep it above water.
The mercy in this mourning is found in Christ's extended hand, settling me atop the glassy sea. The cross. By it I have the right to be called a child of God. The right. Imagine that. That is how certain the atonement of Christ is - I don't slip in and stand in the corner, I don't hang my head in shame or hide my nametag, I boldly declare my right to be a child of God through. God places his signet ring on my finger and says if anyone takes issue with my declaration, they take issue with Him. He has decalred it, it is mine, by right, through the blood of Jesus Christ.
Praise.